This website is interesting and enlightening. Yesterday, I typed something to the effect of "how to find people who help others" into a search engine and this was one of the returns. I joined right away and started to read some of the postings. After reading for a while, I started to feel guilty about my own needs because there are so many people with problems greater than mine. I thought about it all day. When I got up this morning, I realized that you can't really measure whose need is "greatest" and that my story is just as valid as anyone else's. I am 63 yrs old, disabled, widowed and I live in upstate NY with my 2 iguanas and my little dog. I live way out in the country and I don't have a lot of friends here. I used to live in New Orleans but moved after Katrina. My whole life revolves around my animals and my computer. My social security payment is extremely low so SSI adds $137 to it each month so it comes out to be $781 a month. I live in a tiny little cabin where the rent is $750. and I tried to apply for section 8 but they told me it is closed in Ulster County right now. I have a friend who used to be my roommate in New Orleans who sends me $200 a month which is all they can afford to help me with. I get food stamps, so I don't need food. But the total of $981 I receive each month has proved out to be not enough to pay rent, electricity and propane (my furnace runs on it). Social Services told me I would be elligible for HEAP to help with the utilities but they want a copy of my lease and I don't have one. My landlord lives in Florida and every time I try to call him, he picks up the phone and hangs it right back up so he won't have to talk. I know he knows what I want because the property manager told him...he just doesn't want to help me. I think he doesn't want to get involved with Social Services because this house would most likely not pass an inspection by them. I really don't know how to handle all of this. It is hard to find a place that takes animals, let alone 2 iguanas (that's just because people don't understand about them) and they are like children to me. If it comes down to which one of us eats, it's my "kids" every time. I want to be able to live without waking up every day with a knot of fear in the pit of my stomach. I have always been self sufficient so it is very hard to admit that I need any kind of help. I guess I don't really expect to get any help, maybe I just needed a forum to get some of these panicky feelings off my chest. Anyway, thank you for "listening" and please don't think I'm not grateful for that which I do have. Sincerely, Ms. Mike
